I spend the greater part of my days in the Kabul office, or in the house, sequestered, and shuttled back and forth between the two.
On the eight minute daily ride between the house and the office, I experience nearly the same thing every day. It goes something like this:
We fishtail down the driveway onto an unpaved, icy road, the car pulls out into the street. The driver reaches his arm out to his radio, calls security to alert them of our movement. We’ve all got code names, and I nearly always laugh whenever I hear mine, or have to say it myself. Which all told, is about seven times a day. You think the novelty would wear off! But then, you would also be overestimating the excitement in my life rather dramatically.
We drive down the bumpy road, turn the corner, pass the kids picking through trash piles on the side of the street. I smile at the schoolgirls, solemnly treading down the block, their brothers at a hovering distance, keeping a stern watch.
I try to practice my Dari with the driver, who usually smiles politely in spite of the fact that he has no idea what I’m saying. Most days, it takes seven of the eight minute drive to get my point across (which thus far, is always some variation on the word “hello”), changing my accent slightly each time I repeat the word, leaning in a closer, in case he hasn’t HEARD me. Maybe if I just speak it a LITTLE LOUDER, he’ll suddenly understand. Just before we pull into the office compound, it will suddenly dawn on him what I’ve been trying to say all along, and he’ll say OH! laugh, then toss the word out effortlessly in his smooth, honeyed accent, shaking his head. If I have any hope of speaking the language, I should probably hire a tutor.
After the schoolkids, we pass a fancy looking mansion, which signifies the transition from our sleepy little neighborhood into the glorious bedlam and chaos of Kabul – the driver closes his eyes tightly as he leaps headlong into traffic to cross the intersection.
Once safely across, on the left side of the next street is a little corner market with a big Pepsi sign, and on the right, guards patrolling the neighborhood. Some more kids sifting through trash after the guardpost but this time there are dumpsters, as well as a few older women in Burquas standing by.
On this wide thoroughfare, the car usually narrowly avoids hitting a few people bravely pedaling on their bicycles; they ride precariously, skidding along, maneuvering between the icy potholes and unobservant drivers.
This is literally the most exciting part of the morning. Me fumbling with the acrobatics of the language: Chetor HAST-en! Sub ba KHAIR! My colleagues – one (a dentist, with very pretty teeth) sitting in the backseat next to me with a bemused smile on her face, and the other (our finance manager who has been here for four years and seen every phase of reconstruction and setback in Afghanistan and then some), in the frontseat, possibly ignoring me or maybe asleep.
A biker suddenly brushes one inch from the car, the driver swerves and we all lurch to one side, shoulders bumping heads. Ow! everyone exclaims, laughing, looking around. Quickly though, the driver resumes his course, and we take up again our respective language chirpings and bemused/bored expressions.
The bicyclists are usually carrying a big load of some kind so their mobility is somewhat compromised. I am most alarmed by the ones who carry bundles of nan (bread). The nan here comes in ridiculously huge oval shapes; each piece – and I am not exaggerating here— measures about a foot wide by up to three feet long.
The bicyclists carry the nan – without any wrapping – under their armpits, an observation someone pointed out to me last week on the ride to the office. I’ve been able to think of almost nothing else since. In the winter, it seems relatively ok, as it is cold, the riders are wearing coats, not sweating. But in the summer? I can’t consider it. In any case, I try to toast my bread over the gas heating stove in the office to kill any and all armpit germs that may have wormed their way into the soft dough.
As you can imagine, between Dari and contemplating the potential implications of armpit bread, there’s not a lot for much else.
But, we turn another corner, drive down a bumpy, narrow alley, where each residence is guarded by stern looking men with Kalashnikovs, cocked and ready. I usually slink down into my seat at this point. There’s always either a car stuck in the snow or a few huge trucks waiting for a small Nissan to drive. Down. The alley. Already. Move!
Somehow, someway, each day we make it to the office compound gate, where our friendly guard smiles and lifts the barrier. Salam Halykum! I shout to him. The driver stops, we all tumble out of the car and try to avoid falling and smashing our hips on the ice.
Tomorrow: from the car to the office! The excitement continues.